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Smile: The Story of a Face (2021)

by Sarah Ruhl

MembersReviewsPopularityAverage ratingMentions
1009273,752 (4.06)3
"In this poignant and deeply intimate memoir, Sarah Ruhl chronicles her experience with Bell's palsy after giving birth to twins. At night, I dreamed that I could smile. The smile felt effortless in my dreams, the way it did in my childhood. Happily married and in the flush of hard-earned professional success, with her first play opening on Broadway, Sarah Ruhl has just survived a high risk pregnancy and given birth to twins when she discovers the left side of her face entirely paralyzed. Bell's palsy. Ninety percent of Bell's palsy sufferers see spontaneous improvement and full recovery. Like Ruhl's mother. Like Angelina Jolie. But not like Sarah Ruhl. Sarah Ruhl is in the unlucky ten percent. Like Allen Ginsberg. But for a woman, a mother, a wife, and an artist working in the realm of theater, the paralysis and the disconnect between the interior and exterior, brings significant and specific challenges. So Ruhl begins an intense decade-long search for a cure, while simultaneously grappling with the reality of her new face-one that, while recognizably her own-is incapable of accurately communicating feelings or intentions. In a series of searing, witty, and lucid meditations, Ruhl chronicles her journey as a patient, mother, wife, and artist. She details the struggle of a body yearning to match its inner landscape, the pain post-partum depression, the joys and trials of marriage and being a playwright and a mother to three tiny children, and the desire for a resilient spiritual life in the face of difficulty. Brimming with insight, humility, and levity, SMILE is a triumph by one of the leading playwrights in America. It is about loss and reconciliation, perseverance and hope. The Hollywood pitch would be Joan Didion meets Ann Lamott with a little Nora Ephron for good measure"--… (more)
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Showing 1-5 of 9 (next | show all)
Not a simple memoir--this happened and this and this and this-- Ruhl involves us in her process of making sense of the Bell's palsy she developed and what it means to not be able to fully express joy or to feel you must withdraw your real self from the gaze of others. In her journey to identifying what has happened to her body, she discovers she had celiac disease and more importantly, that it can be genetic and affect other aspects of physical wellbeing (one of her children tested positive, after this discovery, and her father's early death was likely related also). She quotes from a wide variety of sources, a reflection of the reading she did while trying to find how to live with an imperfect body. She is honest and open about her thoughts, fears, and journey via Buddhism, acupuncture,dreams and therapy. She reflects on the larger social relevance of how we see ourselves. She shares stories about her family: her husband and 3 children, her mother, and her (deceased) father. She is intelligent and is able to share some of the medical resources she used in terms that the average reader can understand. It is obvious that Ruhl is a professional writer, crafting the arc of her narrative to draw relationships between events. She shares insights that any reader can relate to.
e.g. She mentions Tatyana Fazlalizadeh's mural "Stop Telling Women to Smile" and extends that to a realization that men who say that to women feel entitled to tell them what to feel, that they have authority over her inner experiences. Then goes on to mention Joe Scarborough telling Hillary Clinton to smile after winning a primary, gymnast Simone Biles being told by a white judge to smile more during competitions, and ends by quoting Daaimah Mubashshir's play 'The Immeasurable Want of Light'.
Includes a list of resources for 1)cholestasis during pregnancy, 2)celiac disease, 3)postpartum depression, and 4)Lyme's Disease; followed by a lengthy list of sources for all her quotes. ( )
  juniperSun | Apr 30, 2024 |
While this memoir was about Ruhl dealing with Bell's palsy, but the parts I enjoyed most were the glimpses into her life as a playwright. ( )
  bookwyrmm | Aug 26, 2023 |
At a time when our smiles are hidden by masks, Sarah’s experience is even more thought provoking. She writes in such a way that you feel you are a trusted friend and connects you intimately with her story. Beautifully written, this memoir sheds light on so many important lessons and spiritual reminders about what really matters in life. ( )
  Andy5185 | Jul 9, 2023 |
Boring. ( )
  fountainoverflows | Aug 4, 2022 |
After Sarah Ruhl delivers her twins, a nurse notices that her eyelid is drooping. She has Bell's Palsy. This leaves her with a crooked smile. She details how some of the medical professionals misdiagnose her, and others give her hope. After a long ten years, she has stopped searching for a cure, but a friend helps her find someone who actually does assist her in getting her nerves to react.
This is a moving story of someone whose life changed, but she learns that your smile doesn't necessarily portray what is in your heart.
Uplifting memoir. ( )
  rmarcin | Mar 24, 2022 |
Showing 1-5 of 9 (next | show all)
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Epigraph
Considering how common illness is, how tremendous the spiritual change that it brings, how astonishing, when the lights of health go down, the undiscovered countries that are then disclosed...it becomes strange indeed that illness has not taken its place with love, battle, jealousy among the prime themes of literature.
--Virginia Woolf, "On Being Ill" (1926)
Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.
--Thich Nhat Hanh
Dedication
To all the many doctors and healers of every stripe who have helped me these past ten years.
But mostly to the main doctor in my life, my husband, Tony Charuvastra, who sees me through, and sees me, every day.
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Ten years ago my smile walked off my face, and wandered out in the world.
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(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)
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"In this poignant and deeply intimate memoir, Sarah Ruhl chronicles her experience with Bell's palsy after giving birth to twins. At night, I dreamed that I could smile. The smile felt effortless in my dreams, the way it did in my childhood. Happily married and in the flush of hard-earned professional success, with her first play opening on Broadway, Sarah Ruhl has just survived a high risk pregnancy and given birth to twins when she discovers the left side of her face entirely paralyzed. Bell's palsy. Ninety percent of Bell's palsy sufferers see spontaneous improvement and full recovery. Like Ruhl's mother. Like Angelina Jolie. But not like Sarah Ruhl. Sarah Ruhl is in the unlucky ten percent. Like Allen Ginsberg. But for a woman, a mother, a wife, and an artist working in the realm of theater, the paralysis and the disconnect between the interior and exterior, brings significant and specific challenges. So Ruhl begins an intense decade-long search for a cure, while simultaneously grappling with the reality of her new face-one that, while recognizably her own-is incapable of accurately communicating feelings or intentions. In a series of searing, witty, and lucid meditations, Ruhl chronicles her journey as a patient, mother, wife, and artist. She details the struggle of a body yearning to match its inner landscape, the pain post-partum depression, the joys and trials of marriage and being a playwright and a mother to three tiny children, and the desire for a resilient spiritual life in the face of difficulty. Brimming with insight, humility, and levity, SMILE is a triumph by one of the leading playwrights in America. It is about loss and reconciliation, perseverance and hope. The Hollywood pitch would be Joan Didion meets Ann Lamott with a little Nora Ephron for good measure"--

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