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Retief's War (1966)

by Keith Laumer

Other authors: See the other authors section.

Series: Retief (3)

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381467,599 (3.31)2
The twenty-seventh century planet of Quopp is a world where Earthmen walk cautiously or not at all. The inhabitants are weirdly diabolical creatures, possessing spoked-wheel limbs and sprouting steel-sharp talons.Plans are afoot to place these singular beings under a single government friendly to Earth. But Jame Retief, officer of the distinguished Corps Diplomatique Teresstienne, a supra-national organization devoted to keeping the peace, has discovered that evil forces are undermining the whole scheme. Deviously sincere, uncompromisingly venal, fearlessly cowardly, Retief goes to work against mounting planetary intrigue and more than once brings those around him to the brink of nervous collapse.… (more)
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Showing 4 of 4
Laumer, Keith. Retief’s War. 1965. Retief No. 3. Baen, 1985.
Retief’s War is perhaps the defining example of the series. It has some loveable, lunkish aliens for Retief to civilize, a spaceship full of beautiful girls, some incompetently villainous Groaci, and a gaggle of buffoonish Terran diplomats. Retief gets to wield a sword. What more could you want? 4 stars because it takes me back to my youth. ( )
  Tom-e | May 3, 2022 |
Originally published in IF magazine this was the first Retief novel, and it seemed to be good fun. the planet is filled with violent and wll armed natives. Jaime retief is sent to install a Terra friendly government, and with the aid of venal and cowardly allies, he brings the task about. ( )
  DinadansFriend | Sep 5, 2019 |
Instead of a short story collection, Retief gets his first full length novel. I have no idea how Laumer kept everything straight for this - I didn't, but that's because I chose not to create a scorecard. The jargon, the players...jeez! I'm not normally a short story guy...I liked Asimov's collection (now there's a Nostalgic Reread I should go find...The Early Asimov)...but I rather think I prefer Retief in bite sized portions. More reading will tell.

Oh...the Retief quote (actually from another character):
"of just what would possess an Embassy Officer to attack members of the Planetary Police in the performance of their duties!" Purplish color was creeping up from under Longspoon's stiff midmorning informal collar.

Retief shook his head sympathetically. "No, I certainly couldn't explain a thing like that."

Longspoon's lower jaw dropped. "Surely you have some, ah., justification to offer?" He shot a quick side glance at the Voion.

"It would be pretty hard to justify attacking a policeman," Retief offered., "In the performance of his duties at that."

"Look here . . .!" Longspoon leaned toward Retief. "You're supposed to be a diplomat!" he hissed from the corner of his mouth. "You might at least try lying a little!"
Yep...Laumer lampooning his former profession again... ( )
  Razinha | Apr 9, 2019 |
Best Sci-Fi Ever Written!

By far the greatest sci-fi series ever written. Follow James Retief and Ben Magnun on thier action packed, tounge-in-cheek adventures across the galaxy.

The Retief series started out as a series of short stories published the various science fiction pulps during the 1950's through to the 1960's. These are classic sci-fi as it was written before the days of the moon landing. All together there were more than 60 stories about Retief's space adventures.

After the death of Keith Laumer, editors began to compile collections of these classic pulp fiction stories into a book series. Each collection contains 3 to 5 or more stories.

Of the series Retief and the Warlords is my fave!

If you like Douglas Adams' Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy than you're sure to love Retief. ( )
1 vote EelKat | Dec 6, 2007 |
Showing 4 of 4
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» Add other authors (4 possible)

Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Keith Laumerprimary authorall editionscalculated
Morrill, RowenaCover artistsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Ochagavia, CarlosCover artistsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed

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Retief (3)

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Jame Retief, Second Secretary and Consul of the Terrestrial Embassy to Quopp, paused in his stroll along the twisting Path of Sublime Release to admire the blaze of early morning sunlight on the stained glass window of a modest grog whop wedged between a stall with a sign in jittery native script announcing Bargain Pirces in Cuticula Inlays, and the cheery facade of the Idle Hour Comfort Station, One Hindered Stalls, No Waiting.
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The twenty-seventh century planet of Quopp is a world where Earthmen walk cautiously or not at all. The inhabitants are weirdly diabolical creatures, possessing spoked-wheel limbs and sprouting steel-sharp talons.Plans are afoot to place these singular beings under a single government friendly to Earth. But Jame Retief, officer of the distinguished Corps Diplomatique Teresstienne, a supra-national organization devoted to keeping the peace, has discovered that evil forces are undermining the whole scheme. Deviously sincere, uncompromisingly venal, fearlessly cowardly, Retief goes to work against mounting planetary intrigue and more than once brings those around him to the brink of nervous collapse.

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IF YOUR PLANET IS BEING EXPLOITED BY CHITINOUS TENTACLED MONSTERS WHO THINK THEY OWN THE UNIVERSE

WHO YOU GONNA CALL?

GROACI BUSTERS

When Quippina - a rather backward but peaceful and free planet  - is suddenly converted into the CORPS TERRESTRIENNE DIPLOMATIQUE  finds it regrettable. but of course, the main job now is to strike a MODUS VIVENDI with Quioppina's new rulers even though they ARE  subsidized by Earth's main galactic competitor, the Groaci...
LIKE HELL IT IS! Not while Retief is there to organize the tribes and start a counter-revolution! No sir! It's time for 
RETIEF'S WAR
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