The author of this book, Neela Vaswani, writes about her life, her parents’ and grandparents’. What makes it special is that her mother is Irish-Catholic and her father Sindhi-Indian. Who is she? Which culture does she belong to? What is it like to belong to two cultures, and not just two cultures but many, many cultures? The setting is New York and India, the latter half of the 20th Century.

This book is a mix of historical facts, poetical writing and philosophical musings. It deals with a plethora of subjects: museums, illness, suffering, courage, religion, turtles, beauty, mehndi, race, homosexuality, love, individuality…… You don’t learn, but rather you experience and come to understand the values of both belonging to a culture and NOT belonging, i.e. learning who you are as an individual. What makes you you and who do you want to be. It is a book of both fact and fiction and great writing.

You flip from subject to subject. There is a connection and often that connection is philosophical.

There are wonderful lines:

To me, the point of love is to overcome difference. Nothing is too hard for love. Not threats, not a life time of alienation, not money, not religion, not skin, not ruined reputation, not illness, not gigantic corporations with a long reach, not famine, genocide, poverty, government, not the power of one’s raising. Nothing is too hard for love. Nothing. (page 133)

Keep in mind I don’t enjoy books focused on romance….because few can capture its essence properly.

Neither am I religious, but what does that really mean?

Once after reading about Partition, I told her I didn’t believe in God anymore because religion caused too many terrible things. She was grading papers and mumbled, “Thomas, Thomas, thou art Didymus.” Then her face crumbled. She looked up at me, sharp, angry, and asked, “What does God have to do with religion?” It was enough, that sentence separated the two in my mind and heart. (page 83)

This is a conversation between mother and daughter.

I could go on and on, example after example, I just know that this author had me considering many varied themes, and often she projected them in a new light. Some sections were less interesting, but maybe it will be those themes that interest you. You should not zip through this book. It is best to stop and think where you yourself stand.

There are many black and white photos. They add to the book; you can see who she is speaking about.

Completed April 30, 2013 ( )

Neela Vaswani’s memoir begins and ends in airport terminals. From New York to New Delhi, two journeys at two different times in life, 28 years apart. This book describes those 28 years, and her life as a unique mixture of two different races and cultural backgrounds.

She writes chronologically, and reveals not just her parents separate lives, but even further up the family tree. She explores the history of her mother’s Irish Catholic family, with an assortment of memorable characters, all devoted to their city and their “tribe”. She mentions her Irish aunts dancing on a roof over their Italian neighbor’s apartment, just to annoy them. They lived big, loud, and frequently rough lives. They and their extended neighborhood formed their world, one they seldom ventured from. Then she delves into her father’s past in India, and how his family had lived. The lifestyle was more quiet, devoted, and respectful. Eventually her father, a physician, immigrates to the US, bringing his heritage with him.

All of this collides, naturally, when her parents marry and she is born. A mixed race child doesn’t have it easy in any culture, whether in the US or India, and she details her youth with anecdotes that are sometimes funny but often painful. Discrimination and prejudice are everywhere, which I found amazing considering this was relatively recent history (she was born in 1974). Her parents experienced a different sort of discrimination that Vaswani did, and she shows both types of experience. Sometimes people were being ignorant, but often it was intentional, in a time when a ‘hate crime’ was not investigated or taken seriously. The author shows how, even after they married, her parents still had a place that they fit into, in their respective homelands. But as a child of both, she had no real place of her own.

Vaswani’s writing is filled with details: a little girl babysat by her Indian grandmother, neither able to share a language but still able to laugh together and bond. A Bombay hospital that blacks out its windows in wartime with cut up x-ray films. The details dramatize the book and make it feel personal. Additionally, there were some bits of history thrown in that were new to me. I never knew that the Cinncinnati Reds changed their name to “Redlegs” during the Red Scare of the 1950’s to avoid being linked with communism. And I had no idea that India and Pakistan experienced a Partition similar to that of Ireland, one that created a wider religious division between the two nations after its placement than before it.

The first half of the book was especially enjoyable, as the author stayed tightly on the path of her family. I got a bit bogged down in the second part of the book, as she (at times) seemed to get on a soapbox and broadened her commentary a bit too wide to feel like a memoir. It felt preachy and political and lost steam at some of these points. While her story is authentic, I felt like she hadn’t achieved the authority to speak on all issues she attempts to address. All said, it’s a wonderful example of the complications still found in our multicultural society. In fact, I think this title would be an excellent text for a class to study, just to illuminate the world outside the neighborhood and comfort zone. ( )